After I created the first draft of my radio advert I realised that there were a few things that I wanted to change. I decided that the dialogue didn't sound right and that the conversation didn't flow very well. I designed a new script for the radio advert which was slightly longer than the last and I felt was more suited to a radio advert.
New Dialogue-
(ambient sound in background)
Girl- 'Have you tried this new drink? Waikiki!'
Boy- 'No, what's it like?'
Girl- 'Here! Try some of mine!'
(sound effect of sipping drink)
Boy- 'mmmm, tastes amazing!'
(Music plays)
Narrator- 'Waikiki, try a taste of sunshine. Drink responsibly'
I think that this script sounds much better and more realistic than in my last advert. I have also added in some sound effects of people speaking and some quiet music in the background so that it sounds like the speakers are at a party; I have also added in the sound effect of the boy to be drinking the drink which makes the advert more realistic and the drink more appealing. Something that I didn't think needed changing from my practise advert was the ending with the narrator, the woman speaking, sounding upbeat promoting 'Waikiki'. I have also kept in the music at the end of the advert as this will feature throughout the advertising campaign, making the adverts more recognisable and linked together, as well as promoting 'Waikiki'.
